Conflicted Tuesday

conflicted-deck2-coverWe have worked out an exclusive deal with the publishers of the survival card game “Conflicted” where we will be posting one question per week from the deck for open discussion here on You can buy your own Conflicted Deck here and play it with your friends and family… Okay here we go…

Your last loved one in the world has contracted a deadly disease that can spread to you. To take care of her before she passes would certainly mean your death too, but if you don’t, no one else will. What would you do in this situation if this happened to you?

Looking forward to the discussion in the comments below…

About M.D. Creekmore

M.D. Creekmore is the owner and editor of He is the author of four prepper related books and is regarded as one of the nations top survival and emergency preparedness experts. Read more about him here.


  1. Shades of Green says:

    That is a no brainer. If the disease is exactly that” deadly” then I would find a humane way to end both our lives so we would be together and not suffer.

  2. Hobbitt of the Shire says:

    If there is at least a chance of recovery, I would be there for her. Two is one and one is nothing, even in this situation. I could not just sit back and watch her die. There would be nothing left to live for is the children were already gone and then her.

  3. Hunker-Down says:

    The specks of the problem state we are taking care of a female. If He decides to not protect us from the disease as an opportunity for me to be charitable, its His decision. I hope that God gives me the privilege of comforting my DW all the days of her life. He knows all the times I was a pain in the a$$ to her. No one else is left, no other person as a responsibility is present. Only her.

  4. WESTPAC says:

    Until “Death do you part,”…what part of that is so hard to understand?

  5. Bam Bam says:

    I would take care of my loved one. However, I would do so intelligently so as to reduce the chances of transmission.

  6. It may seem hard but I would use my gas masks and make an N.B.C. suit to keep myself “safe” as possible, with proper decontamination it just might work, I would also have a room to keep the infected person in that I could clean properly.

  7. Dan Bauler says:

    Even if it were a total stranger I would place the person into a makeshift isolation and care for them until their passing. This could be accomplished by simply placing them in a room by themselves, and wearing a trash bag covering over my cloths, mask, glasses, and gloves. Just like we used to do in the Hospital.

    I believe that the Apostle Paul said, “To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord”. Pretty smart fellow that Paul!

  8. Commitment is commitment – it sometimes is hard and often is not easy. My choice would be to stay, do what I could to help and still stay as safe as possible.

  9. Got to.say care for her. Close topic is my mom 73 and not real mobile. Bugout on foot not an option.

    • suzy q says:

      You’re right Fixit. When my dad was alive he told me one time something to the effect of I shouldn’t have to be there like I was. I told him that when I signed up I signed up for the long haul not the short term. Bug out for us would have involved some sort of transportation – like you bug out on foot was not an option.

  10. JP in MT says:

    Well, not really a tough decision for me. I’m staying. IL don’t understand who all things work, but if I’m there and able to help, that’s where I’m supposed to be. Made my peace with God long ago. If he feels that we/I’m can better serve him with him, I’ll go. If he still has a use for me/us that’s his call.

  11. RJArena says:

    I would think by now you have been infected, since most illnesses have an incubation period, so try to make her comfortable, and see what happens, at this point you have nothing to lose, who wants to live in such a world?

    • RJ -good pt about the incubation period b/4 symtoms appear – which means u’re exposed b/4 u can see any signs of it.

    • Exactly what I was thinking. I’m a little surprised I had to read so far into the comments to see it mentioned.

    • Sw't tater says:

      DUH! Of course you treat your loved one, who will take care of your needs/wants when your loved one is gone…much harder to live alone…
      No mention was made , if deadly disease is bacterial or viral..If known as viral I would treat with three anti-virals concurrently, and by different methods…oral, topical and inhalation.I would also be treating for a secondary bacterial infection concurrently. I would also use isolation techniques, for complete area, post isolation on door… as best possible, but …if your last close relative has it, then you do as well…so in treating the loved one, I would also treat myself…

  12. Donna in Mn says:

    Greater love has no man than to lay down his life for a loved one.

    I would stay with my loved one and take care of that person. I know any loved one of mine would not want me to catch the disease and die by staying away, but I would take precautions with masks and disinfecting myself. If I was to catch the disease and die, then it is God’s will, and I am at peace with that.

  13. Rider of Rohan says:

    She is my last loved one. That says it all. Everyone I love has died, so I’m taking care of her. If we both die, so be it. I pledged my word, “in sickness and in health”, and I meant it. Besides, “I won’t stay in a world without love”.

    • Dan Bauler says:

      Dude, that’s beautiful! Don’t go all “Poet” on us now!

      • Rider of Rohan says:

        Hey! Poet and didn’t know it! Nah, too old for any new careers. How’s the snow situation, can u see ur grass yet? I mean the green grass in the yard kind of grass.

        • Dan Bauler says:

          Yup, got the tractor out and spread some Scotts “Weed and Feed” on it today. We’ll be planting a garden by the end of May!

          How the tornado situation down in Tex-ass?

          • Rider of Rohan says:

            Well, tornadoes hit that county in Texas that some call Arkansas pretty hard. It was a ways from me. We’ve had the quietest tornado season I ever remember, only one warning the entire season. And I’ll be eating squash from our garden by the time you get your garden in.

    • Got that song stuck in my head now.

  14. Stay and take care of my husband or other familh member.

  15. Fenland Prepper says:

    There is only one answer that has already been said by everyone, stay, be a man, be true to your vows.

  16. expose_the_devils says:

    “I’m all in…..’til the wheels fall off!”

  17. DB Prepper says:

    Tough call for me especially since I just broke up with my gf. Right now I’d say I would go it alone…if you asked me last month I’d probably have said I’d stay and take my chances with the virus. Funny how a little time can change answers to these questions!

    • DB Prepper says:

      yikes lol, I didn’t read the question well enough apparently. If this was my last loved one then there is no choice you stay and help or hang on until the end.

      I’m glad I read some comments and then re-read the question!

  18. Dan Bauler says:

    Funny thing, me and the BC Truck were discussing this very topic the other day and he said, ” I could pawn her wedding ring and other stuff that she has. Sell off her car and head for New Orleans and the French Quarter!

    Of course I’m joking, BC would head for Las Vegas!

  19. SoCalPrepper says:

    I think this is an easy one because it says “last loved one.” In that case, my husband would be it…so at that point, who cares? Stay. Try to reduce chances of infection, but it is what it is.

  20. RB in Alabama says:

    My wife and I are both nurses, and, sad to say, we see death and infectious disease all the time. While I would want to stay and take care of my wife, I know her- she would not want me to die if it could be avoided. If it was me infected, and her not- I’d tell her I love her and send her away (or go away to die by myself). “Til death do us part” is not a suicide pact. (If I’m not mistaken, for Catholics at least, isn’t suicide a “deadly sin” ?)

    • Sagewolf says:

      I agree with RD in Alabama. It would be for me how old am I. If I am 60 to 70 years old and in failing health when this virus happened I would stay with my loved one. Now if I was in my 20s for example I would not stay even though it would be hard to leave. In fact if it was the other way I would tell my loved one to leave me if I got a 100% fatal virus.
      When I meet my maker and see my loved ones in heaven I want to be able to tell them I helped those that survived the virus and not die needlessly. If I did not get the virus I would search for others to form a new family, children for example they would need my strength to protect them from harm.
      I know some may think leaving is dishonorable but this would be something we discussed in advance. Also we are assuming last loved one is a spouse. This last loved one could be another member of your family mother, sister, daughter or a close female cousin it does not automatically mean wife. My family means a lot to mean including my extended family , but if I died needlessly and I was the last of my family, my family would become extinct. I would morn for the loss of my family, but live for the future and rebuild my family by blood and adopt new people into my new family.

    • Dan Bauler says:

      Funny how many Nurse types post on this site. My DW is an RN while I retired from the O.R. before starting a second career.

  21. First of all you could be immune. Many have survived plaques when many have died. They might survive too when the disease has run it’s course.
    In the mean time you would take all precautions necessary to keep them
    isolated. I like the comment that used gas mask and suit.
    I personally do not want to die but I would not leave anyone I loved alone
    to cope by themselves with no care or die alone. Make them as comfortable
    and as cared for as you can. Protect yourself as best you can. Then pray.
    Prayer can do miracles.

  22. Well, I can tell you from personal experience over the 5 years that my wife was ill that this is the hardest thing you will experience in your lifetime. To watch your wife of over 35 years wither away and die despite your best efforts is totally mentally and physically devastating. Then once she has passed you have deal with the 5 stages of grief and if you think that is something you just sluff off you are sadly mistaken. I meant those vows when I said them, period no matter what.

    • Watchdog says:


      My heart goes out to you. Only someone who has gone through what you have can possibly understand your pain.

      I’ve lost everyone I ever called family. All my relative are now gone. My only son was killed by a drunk driver fifteen years ago. Now my wonderful wife of forty-five years has taken ill.

      If it wasn’t for my unwavering Faith in God, I don’t know what I would have done.

      God Bless you always.

      • I was never very religious, a Christian but in regular contact. During her illness I felt the hand of God on my shoulder many times. I felt the hand move and guide me to be a better husband and care giver for her. Today nobody can tell me that prayer does nothing, I know better.

    • Rider of Rohan says:

      Tested by fire, now tempered. That’s a great testimony, carl.

  23. As I remember the vows, they said…’til death do us part… no wiggle room there. Only if there are kids not old enough to fend for themselves or a responsible family member to raise them could you do anything else but do the best you can with your wife. We are grandparents now, so I am with my love through thick and thin! MCG

  24. “Your last loved one in the world has contracted a deadly disease…”
    When I first read it, I missed the 2nd word – that this loved one is my last. Since I have several chronic health issues, which not terminal, but will likely shorten my productive life, I believe I’d do my best to care for her, to keep her comfortable & fed, until she passed away, even if it meant contracting the deadly disease. Our family are people of faith, & death is not the end, but leads to a new life in heaven. So I do not fear death, but will likely hate the suffering that leads to death.

  25. KS Judy says:

    Once again, if they have it, your already exposed, be it viral or bacterial. So why would you do the stupid thing by running away and exposing others? Quarantine yourselves and practice the best sanitation you can under the circumstances. And if you haven’t started, now is the time to get right with your God.

  26. Northernwolf says:

    Gosh….will have to think on that one and won’t read others ideas right,wow

  27. tommy2rs says:

    Wife, mother, daughter, granddaughter, whatever. I take care of me and mine. I’d do the same if it was the male line. We all die someday and to me, life after deserting someone who depended on me would be a travesty. I’d stay and deal with whatever came after after the job was done.

    • You’ve got it right. We all die in the end. Living well is what it is all about, and that means being there for those we love, even if it makes our death a little sooner.

  28. k. fields says:

    My last loved one has a deadly disease that is going to kill her and kill me if I stay with her – do I abandoned her to save myself? Well. I’m sure she would want me to, just as I would want her to if our roles were reversed.
    I think my only choice in that situation would be to end her life myself to save her from suffering, dispose of her body with dignity and properly say goodbye while I still had the strength to do so.
    As others have said, the disease will probably soon kill me too and it may in fact take me faster than her once symptoms develop, leaving her to suffer her last days alone, sick, immobile, staring at my rotting corpse.
    I’ve gone through this many times with livestock and pets whom I’ve loved dearly but I knew their last days would only be filled with pain and suffering if I didn’t act. My last loved one in the world certainly deserves at least as much compassion.

  29. Just had 5 years of sickness with my husband of 62 years., and lost him. It didn’t matter i was there until the end. That what it’s all about. Love, respect and honor.

    • Watchdog says:


      Cherish the memories, for they will sustain you. Your Faith will give you strength. Your heart will provide new destinations. And God will light your way.

      God Bless you always.

    • themem says:

      So sorry for your loss, my prayers to you.

    • Sorry for your loss Mary. That sounds like a long hard road to travel.

    • Rain23 says:

      God bless you. People like you fill me with hope that there’s something worth saving about the human race. Love, respect and honor, indeed. May it all come back to you tenfold for being there.

  30. I think this scenario is the reason to have MOP gear as part of my preps, which I don’t. Regardless of having any means of protection I would care from my wife, kids and grandchildren even if it means I get the disease also.

    • MOPP Gear (Mission Oriented Protective Posture, GI issued individual NBC protective equipment) will only help you if you put it on before you are exposed. Not very likely.

      • I’m not stupid. I realize that, and it’s the same for any protective measures you might take to avoid the disease. But, if you are not having any of the symptoms of the disease then if you have the gear you can don it to avoid the chance you might get it. Or would one just say to hell with it, I’m going to get it anyway so why take any precautions?
        Or are you saying it’s a waste of time to obtain the gear for ones preps?

        • Sorry Dan, was not trying to insinuate that you are stupid. I only wanted to 1. explain to those that may not know, what MOPP gear was, and 2. explain that without knowing when to put it on may render the suit ineffective.
          Is it worth including in ones preps? In my honest opinion… Not until or unless you have everything else taken care of already.

          • Thanks for the clarification. I think it would depend on where you live on how important it would be and when to include it in your preps. I think if I lived in a big city where the threat of a biological attack would most likely occur then I might want it as part of the bug out preps. Where I live out here in the country it would be after I had at least a years supply of food, had extensive gardening and food preservation in place and an endless supply of water. Then having the means necessary to prevent the lost of what I worked for. At least that is how we have approached our preps. After that was in place I would then fill in advance preps for different scenarios like Nuclear and biological. I forgot, at our advance age we also include medical preps in with the food, water and defense.
            Of course we are also working on building a community of mutual support. I am fortunate in that way. I have a daughter that is an emergency room nurse and my wife is a cosmetologist. So if my daughter isn’t successful at keeping me alive then my wife at least can make me look good for the funeral. LOLOL

  31. without question,take care of her. The final decision of wether i live or die is in Gods hands. As long as i make compassionate and loving decisions,i have no fear of meeting my creator.

  32. Just to share: What is the value of preparing for future disaster when the government moves in and prohibits (makes laws that turn prepers into criminals) Michigan just passed a law making it illegal to plant a garden, raise small animals as chickens, rabbits, goats and the like in suburban areas of the state. In order to be within the parameters of owning a garden you must be at least 250 feet in any direction from your neighbor. Colorado has made it a crime to collect rain water in a bucket or barrel. What’s the point of prepping when the government inter-fear’s with its citizens freedoms.
    What is coming to your state?

  33. Tactical G-Ma says:

    If it was just me and Pop, then we would stay together. But if we were responsible for young ‘uns. Then whoever is sick would face the polar bear alone. This is a scenario that’s played out many times thru the ages.

    • You got this one right, TGMa. We fight and die together….unless there are little ones.

  34. patientmomma says:

    Everyone has their own values and belief systems and they will do accordingly. I have cared for two husbands through contagious virals, blood diseases, CDIF and a few other nasty things and then lost both to cancer. I would try to protect myself as much as possible, but I would stay until the end and do what I could.

  35. Kim Hahn says:

    I believe you have to actually in that particular situation to find out what you would do. I can see where people that have spent a lifetime together would stay together and others run like a deer.
    A lot like asking what would you do if you won the lottery.

  36. At first I’d say that I would take care of her with as much caution as I can, but if we both die then who will take care of our children? Or if one of the kids were infected it could spread to all of us. Whether it was my wife, child, or other family member I would do as much as I could to help them, but use as much caution as possible, for as long as I can.
    If they were ‘the last loved one’ I would be right beside them to the end.

  37. country vet says:

    At this point I am already exposed and incubating if not immune. Leaving would serve no purpose. If my immune system wins I live, if not I die. Since I am evidently not yet symptomatic I would use all natural antivirals and immune stimulants at my disposal such and elderberry, echinacea , oil of oregano, etc. I would try to keep my body from becoming either chilled or overheated if possible as both suppress the immune system. For the sick person temperature driven therapy might be worth a try depending on the classification of the virus. Also not convinced that if given early enough any virus can not be turned with certain natural combinations.

    • RB in Alabama says:

      You’re making an assumption that you are, indeed, exposed to the contagion- which is not specified in the question raised: “Your last loved one in the world has contracted a deadly disease that can spread to you.” For example, perhaps she contracted it while you were separated for some reason. She relizes she has it and warns you prior to your exposure. In that case leaving does indeed serve a purpose, as would quarantine.
      ” To take care of her before she passes would certainly mean your death too, but if you don’t, no one else will. What would you do in this situation if this happened to you?” Furthermore, for a disease to have “certainly mean my death”, it falls into rather narrow parameters of disease and transmission types. We would be talking weaponized versions of the various hemmorhagic fevers or of smallpox, anthrax or similar. ( Even in ebola outbreaks I’ve read there is a 10% survival rate [though I’m not sure what shape the survivors are in…]) In that case, isolation makes exceptional sense.
      Given, however,the assumption you made your argument is very valid. I especially agree with the temperature based therapy approach, if it could pulled off in a survival setting (I’ve only seen it done successfully long term in an ICU environment)

  38. themem says:

    The cynic in me says I’m prepping for one not going to hqppen. The romantic in me says I stay and try to make him better (slow learner). The realist in me says it depends on which of the DBs or SILs it is. This scenario would be a “God please carry me” one for me.

  39. Bwhntr59 says:

    Jesus Christ said whoever loses his life for another will gain eternal life with Him in Heaven. So I would stay with her, and if I die, at least I know where I will end up.

    Let us all hope we never have to face that scenario.

  40. That is emotionally provacative…the card states your last loved one. I assume that means that all of my other loved ones are dead. It doesn’t matter who I picture I know I take care of them, love them all I can in the time I have left then die. I picture my darling two year old granddaughter, my beloved son, my charming husband, or my mom and I know I would take care of any of them. Life would be pretty bleak without the ones I love.

  41. Riverwood says:

    I think there are a lot more factors to consider here, it’s not always the simple decision that some may think it is.
    Is it just the 2 of you or are you part of a group, whats your position in that group? What if you are THE LEADER of your group, THE go to guy? What happens to the other members of your group when all their collective skills and knowledge decides to give up and die with his/ her loved one? Does the responsibility of the one outweigh the needs of the group?
    I know from personal experience that I’m the most likely one to be sick and I refuse to let anyone sacrifice themselves to make me comfortable in my last weeks/days. From experience I hate to have anyone around when I’m sick – I’m 1/2 Grizzly bear and ornery as all get out when sick or injured. If I’m that sick and know I’m going to die, I’ll take myself on the “Long Walk” so as to not be a burden on my loved one or the group. We (the family) have already discussed this scenario and are ready with the app. drugs to ease someone on their way to the other side.
    You may not have any loved ones left, but that doesn’t mean you’re on your own – not if you are part of a group and especially not if you are the leader or someone in a critical position – YOU DON’T HAVE THAT LUXURY!
    Buck up, say your goodbyes (you’ll see them on the other side) and get on about your business of surviving!
    We (you) are trying to rebuild a future for our children’s children – out of the ashes of the old world and hopefully into a better tomorrow and it will take knowledge, experience and wisdom to accomplish that – and that means keeping as many people alive as we can.

    • Sagewolf says:

      I Agree with Riverwood. If we let ourselvese die just because a loved one is dying WE would not be the ones in control of the world. It would be some other animal that would have taken our place in this world. In fact WE would not be alive now if our ancesters did not move on after a death in the family. For example when a woman would lose her child during birth most would move on as best as they could instead of just killing themselves.

      If we are part of a group and each family lost a loved one the group would be no more. Even though I would miss any loved one that died I must live for the future. If I am determined to follow my loved one in death I must make sure any skill I have is firmly past on to any future group I may join. Only than can I follow. Until than death is not an option for me.

  42. Take precautions and take care of them. Set myself up so that I can quarantine myself to make sure I don’t pass it on and deal with it if I get sick as well. Survival for survivals sake is rather pointless. We survive so that we can take care of others, build something better, and experience joy again. Whether it’s blood family or collected family we survive and eventually thrive for family.

    • Sagewolf says:

      I could not have said it better. If we lose our blood family then we need to build a new one out of the survivors of the virus for this senario.

      Why does it have to be a fatal virus it could be just the death of a favorite grandma or grandfather . Using the logic of dying with your loved one because of a virus why not because of a stroke or heart attack or cancer. No one would be alive in this world if we killed ourselves if we lost a love one. WE Must morn our lost, but we must also move on.

  43. Dog Log says:

    My Wife, where ever she is, is where I want to be.

    Here is a song that I would like to share. One of the song writers was with the Statler Brothers, Jimmy Fortune. Hope you enjoy.

  44. Benjammin says:

    Kill her quick. I’ve put enough pets down myself, why wouldn’t I do the same for someone I love above all others? If there’s no hope for her, only misery and death, I wouldn’t want to go through that myself. I would hope she would do the same for me if it were the other way around.

    Everybody gotta die sometime. By the way, this isn’t a legal question. I never base a decision like this on legal repercussions. Some things are beyond the rules of man.

  45. I don’t write often, but feel like I’M IN A big family. wE ALL CARE ABOUT THE SAME THINGS.

  46. Rain23 says:

    There are better things than just surviving. At that point so much of your life is gone that caring for that last person is all you have left. If you abandon them you are abandoning what made your life worth living. Even if the person dies, stay with them until the end. If you die, you are going to join them. If you live, you can look in the mirror and see the kind of loving person someone might want to build a life with in the future.

  47. Southern Belle says:

    Even if the SHTF, I would want to care for my family member. I would try to make them as comfortable as possible and love them till the end. I think that caring for your loved ones at the end of their life is as much for them as it is for you. We do have to keep our humanity even if the world has gone to heck in a handbasket. 🙂

  48. “would certainly mean your death too” seems more than a little over the top. We are not superstitious people living in the dark ages. We understand sanitation, infection, etc. and I think it would be possible to take care of someone without the certainty of getting infected. I would of course take care of my loved one, attempting to ease any pain until the inevitable happens. If I also contract the ailment, then such is life; however, I don’t think the fatalist attitude is at all warranted.

  49. Oh please says:

    I would take care of my loved one while being as cautious as possible with spreading the contagion. This is my LAST loved one. Once she is gone, I am bereft of family. I would try to manage the symptoms and offer physical and mental support. The human spirit is an amazing thing that can triumph over insurmountable odds. On top of that, Faith can work miracles when human strength fails. There is no way to know if my loved one is that one person who survives and develops an immunity to this illness until the very end. I would stay and use every trick in the books I could think of to help.

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