Throwing the first pitch

The President and Mrs. Mitchelle Obama are in the front row at a Yankees game.

The row behind them is taken up with Secret Service agents, one of whom leans over and whispers something into the President’s ear.

As soon as he finishes, Mr. Obama grabs Mitchelle by the scruff of the neck and heaves her over the railing.

Mitchelle falls 10 feet to the top of the dugout, kicking and screaming obscenities.

The Secret Service agent leans over again and whispers,

“Mr. President, I said, they want you to throw out the first PITCH!” :laugh:

Thanks to Scott G for this…

About M.D. Creekmore

M.D. Creekmore is the owner and editor of He is the author of four prepper related books and is regarded as one of the nations top survival and emergency preparedness experts. Read more about him here.


  1. Nice!

    • Made the mistake of showing this to the DW while she was drinking her morning smoothie. It only took me an hour to clean the spray off my keyboard.

  2. Funny but sad to think we can laugh at such, because we know she is the boss of the bunch, so I guess it leads us to funnily/laughingly agree with it.

    I do not know how long this ad has been out for “Jack in the Box” but as in years past this bunch has come up with another quite offensive ad. This is a blasted hamburger joint and I feel it should consider some moral attitude.
    Jack and I assume his wife are playing scrabble. He comes up with some nonsensical word and she asks him about it. So he goes into his pitch for their new breakfast sandwich which is the same only the bread is waffles. She looks at that ping-pong balled dummy and leans over and puts a new word/message up. Nonookie. He dumbly says what does that mean and then goes OHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!.
    Now what the heck does that have to do with fast food, hamburgers or a breakfast sandwich???????

  3. You knew that was coming.

    I really liked it when Oprah Winfrey was being inducted into the Kennedy Center and Chris Rock was making his presentation.

    Chris Rock stated he is “looking up at the most powerful person in the world, and then sitting next to her is Barrack Obama.” The spot on Michelle looked as though she thought it was her… Then a few more cracks about Oprah’s wealth and then, “He didn’t get her a job, she got him a job.”

  4. axelsteve says:

    hahahahahahahahahahahahah great joke.

  5. Homeinsteader says:

    As much as I have total disdain for both of these evil entities, I do not appreciate the innuendo that all women should somehow be referred to as “*itches”. By the reference to “first *itch”, that is exactly the message. I find it sexist, chauvinistic, and offensive. That IS my opinion on this “joke”.

    • Homeinsteader,

      Good grief! No one was talking about all women just the one.

      • I’m a woman and obviously not as uptight as Homeinsteader because I thought the joke was great and funny as heck. And no, I have enough sense to know that the joke was not referring to any other woman than the one being referenced in the joke. Some folks need to lighten up.

      • M.D.

        I believe I’d heard that joke through at least 4 presidents. Still funny every time!

        BTW, my sister who is a rampant feminist and even sings on a feminist choir in Washington D.C. finds this joke funny. It’s a play on words. She tells me that the ones who take offense at this must obviously believe that every other womens issues has been solved to worry on a simple play on words.

        For what it’s worth.

    • Homeinsteader
      Relax, and enjoy.
      I would like to hear some mother-in-law jokes myself. They were subject to quite a few back in the 50’s & 60’s.
      And you always got the drift they were the most hated, but always for a good laugh.

      • Ellen,
        My Ex wife had a nasty nasty person for a mother, I used to say;

        “the only difference between my Mother In Law and a Pit Bull,
        was lipstick!”
        The joke here was it was not a joke, so….

    • Homeinsteader,

      Don’t take yourself so seriously. If you’re a ‘real’ prepper, you wouldn’t have such a thin skin. Lighten up and laugh at this crazy world. You’re never going to get out of it alive. 🙂

    • Wow!!! You did not get the joke did you? By “First *itch” it is a play on “First Lady”… As in the presidents wife. It does not mean all women of “itches”

  6. Homeinsteader says:

    I understand that, MD, but I’m telling you how it struck me. “Uptight”, Heather….really? I just think it was in very poor taste, that’s all.

  7. Obama is the ONLY president NOT to visit the D-Day memorial in normandy , He has ignored the memorial this entire term , yet he will throw a baseball in an event that win , loose , or draw …………..means nothing in the course of humanity . I guess he would have preferred deep down that Germany had won that war .

  8. last i checked we all still had a right to our own opinions. Homeinsteader didn’t find the joke funny. i happen to agree with her and that’s my opinion. we all have different senses of humor. there is no need to jump down anyone’s throat because they don’t agree with you. id like to think we are all better that that.

  9. Even in jest, I don’t like hearing any woman called that, especially a First Lady.

    • Kevin JJ Kehoe says:

      Give us a break I prefer a bitch as long as she is right and willing to stand up for something, if a guy does it she is labeled a Bastard.

      I guess you must really hate this one taught to me by a real WoMan.
      Mary O


  10. My wife used to say “you pick” when choosing a place to eat. It always sounded like she was saying YOU PIG.

  11. Methinks those who find offense in such a little joke like this found it hit too close to home. Pity the husbands. As for me, I’d rather have a dog. Women are too expensive and as proven above, no matter what they can always find something to _itch about.

  12. EB.Esquire says:

    I didn’t find it funny either, crude and sophmorish if you ask me, but to each their own. As for women being more expensive than dogs, my dog is a money pit, however she can retrieve a dead (or still alive) goose while swimming through 80 yards of nearly frozen water, but never makes any money. On the other hand, my wife is a Dr., and while she can spend some $$, she also makes some $$. However, she refuses to swim through 80 yards of nearly frozen water to bring me a dead goose.
    I think I’ll keep them both.
    Now as for a funny joke…
    A mushroom walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me a drink”
    Bartender says, “Heck, I can’t serve you, you’re a mushroom”
    Mushroom says, “Yeah, but I’m a fungi”

  13. i dont care if some one calls me or anyone else an “itch”. say it to my face, i will say thank you. im glad you noticed.
    i dont try to get called that. but it shuts them up faster than getting mad. just saying.

  14. jr from ar says:

    Homeinsteader, you can get my email from M.D. if you want to and if M.D. doesn’t mind the trouble

  15. I hope all the complainers about that joke hold the VP and President to the same high standard of ethical behavior when it comes to election time. I suspect many of the whiners are Democrats and will excuse anything from this bunch. Heaven forbid a joke is tossed out there. Let me see, Biden talks about putting people back in chains, not funny, but quite okay I suppose. We have bodies piled up from illegal gun running and many more unethical, illegal, and immoral behaviors from this crew, but somehow we get our shorts in a bind over one little joke. The first lady said it was the first time she was proud of this country, when of course they were nominated, and then later elected. She spends her time telling us how to eat and on and on. I personally think she does qualify for the moniker, or a t a minimum, a fellow traveling marxist with heavy needs to spend our money on their vacations. I’m sorry to see that M.D. was given greif over it but it shows that in business it almost never pays to delve into politics.

  16. EB.Esquire says:

    Sorry to burst your bubble J. Stuart, but I am not a democrat. Just someone with a dry sense of humor and takes more than calling a woman a b*tch to get me to laugh. I feel it’s the same people who think it’s hysterical to call Mrs. Obama a b*tch would be floored and ready for war if someone called Mrs. Bush, Sarah Palin, or their own mother one. Like I said, I personally think it was stupid and sophmorish, and has nothing to do with prepping or intelligent debate on the state of the country and world, but as stated before, to each their own.

  17. Oh, I doubt those who disliked the joke would have liked it any better if it had been about the Bushes or the Romneys.

    Probably correlates more to when/where they grew up and what was considered bad language or disrespectful behavior in their home.

  18. In my lowly upbringing I was told never to call a sow’s ear a silk purse. Those recently offended might want to stay off the comment sections of most of the news media because there, things get rough and no words are minced. By comparison, I find a group of nice people on this site including those we have disagreement with here on this subject.

  19. SurvivorDan says:

    Didn’t care for the First *itch joke. Didn’t mind it either.
    I am an insensitive caveman, after all.

    The ‘fungi’ joke was very offensive. The thirsty mushroom patron being refused service was obviously a metaphor for not serving my kind (Asians) in a bar. I am revolted by the not so subtle racism rampant here! How dare you sir! Will take my meds now……

    Everybody take some meds! Cheers!

  20. Kevin JJ Kehoe says:

    Got any LUDES

    It’s been many years since I really relaxed

  21. Well, I LOL’d.

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