You Know You’re a Prepper if . . .

By Bam Bam

ITEOTWAWKI51 You Know You’re a Prepper if . . .What if Jeff Foxworthy were a prepper? Well, you’d probably get something like the following.

You know you’re a prepper when your weekly date night consists of hanging out at Walmart to see if they got in any shipments of ammo.

You know you’re a prepper if your idea of a second home is a shipping crate.

You know you’re a prepper if you watch Doomsday Prepper and pick apart everything they are doing wrong.

You know you’re a prepper if you’ve bought fish antibiotics and yet you don’t have any fish.

You know you’re a prepper if you’ve ever used the term “pantry porn.”

You know you’re a prepper if you ask your dh for a bunny and he asks, “Oh, for Easter?” And you say, “no, for stew.”

You know you’re a prepper if you take your spouse out shooting for Valentine’s Day.

You know you’re a prepper when your idea of a vacation is going to TN to look at property.

You know you’re a prepper if you dog has a BOB.

You know you’re a prepper if you take a second look at road kill and wonder what it would taste like.

You know you’re a prepper if you think about which spices would make road kill taste better.

You know you’re a prepper if your idea of a vacation is going to Louisiana to hunt alligators like on Swamp People.

You know you’re a prepper if you buy 100-proof vodka by the case even though you don’t drink.

You know you’re a prepper if you know the names of every character on Walking Dead.

You know you’re a prepper when your boots cost four times as much as your dress shoes.

You know your wife’s a prepper when the only silk underwear she owns is longjohns.

You know you’re a prepper when you have to get your foundation shored up to support the water barrels.

You know you’re a prepper when you’ve publicly admitted you “lost all your guns in a boating accident” while in line to buy ammo.

You know you’re a prepper when you look at the weeds in your yard and see either a salad or medicine.

You know you’re a prepper when you can pick out other preppers at Walmart based on what they have in their cart.

You know you’re a prepper if you’ve got 600 lbs. of rice put up and you worry that that’s not enough.

You know you’re a prepper if you would need a U-Haul to move all your cases of #10 cans.

You know you’re a prepper if you’ve got more food stored for you pets than most people store for their entire family.

You know you’re a prepper if all your hygiene supplies are dated and you have toothpaste from 2010.

Please feel free to add your own one-liners below.

Comments

  1. Ya know you’re a prepper when thesurvivalistblog.net is on your daily ‘to do’ reading list.

  2. When your spouse asks what you want for your anniversary and you tell them a generator, dehydrator, or water filter.

  3. Rider of Rohan says:

    You know you’re a prepper when the solar system you bought has nothing to do with saving money on the electric bill.

    You know you’re a prepper when the UPS guy knows you on a first-name basis.

    You know you’re a prepper when large parts of your home are off-limits when company comes over.

    • Gotta chuckle at this one. I don’t let company in the house; so nobody comes here in the winter

    • Three for three… yahoo!
      Not only am I on a first name basis with UPS driver, we exchange Christmas gifts; he gets vodka, I get scotch :-)

    • My dog knows the UPS guy.

      • Rider of Rohan says:

        Hahaha….you know you are a very serious prepper when your guard dog thinks the UPS guy is family.

        • Well, now, I didn’t say Max was friendly with the UPS guy. He just has a “the UPS guy is here bark”. If you really listen to dogs bark, they have warning barks, territory barks, announcement barks–all kinds of barks.

          • Rider of Rohan says:

            My dog loves the UPS guy and doesn’t even bark at him. When she hears his truck drive up, she’s off to the door wagging her tail. But, on the plus side, she does alert me.

            • Schatzie Ohio says:

              Our GSD loves the UPS man too. She starts barking he’s here, he’s here as he always gives her a milk bone.

    • When the UPS man comes dragging a heavy box and says, damn John, when are you going to get enough ammo?

    • Or your dog jumps in the UPS ladys seat while she makes the delivery.

  4. You know your a prepper when you look at the snow piled up in your yard as water storage.

    ….when you and your spouse leave for a fun weekend together, to work at a gun show.

    • Or…. your wife gives you things to sell at the gun show because she can’t go.

    • Jersey Drifter says:

      or you look at the large snow pile at the end of the driveway,
      and try to figure out how to hide a security camera in it.

    • That’s the truth and “Watch where the Huskies go so you don’t eat (Melt) yellow snow.. LOL

  5. The first circular you read is Tractor Supply.

  6. You know you’re a prepper when you go to the local laundromat and ask for their dryer lint.

  7. You know you are a prepper when you hand-embroidery your BOB, and give MREs away at Christmas. :)

  8. Hunker-Down says:

    You know you’re a prepper when you dumpster dive for 5 gal buckets behind all the bakeries in town.

  9. Hunker-Down says:

    You know you’re a prepper when the DW catches you ironing Mylar bags with her good iron.

  10. You know your a prepper when you have buckets of old nails and screws because they might make for some good barter.

  11. YKYAP when you take more home from the dump that you deposited there.

  12. YKYAP if you hang around WalMart in the camping department to see if there’s anything you might need….and you’re personally the furthest thing from a camper.

  13. You know your a Pepper when you see road kill on the highway and you have 52 recipes for it.

    • Rider of Rohan says:

      That made me laugh and brought back some special memories. I had a great friend who gave his name and phone # to all the wrecking companies to call him if they were called out to tow a vehicle for hitting a deer. He would go and get the deer, dress them out, etc. He got so many deer over the years that he even had a walk-in freezer in his storage building for hanging deer carcasses. He died in a boating accident a few years ago, I really miss him. He went way too young, he would have been a master prepper. He could do anything.

      • I did hit a deer and it put my van out of action. I caught a ride to my brother’s house to tow me home. It took less than a hour to get back to my van. The deer was gone and a note on my windshield. Someone was going to eat it, but if I wanted it back, his phone number.

        • Rider of Rohan says:

          That’s a great story. I’m still laughing at the guy who didn’t want to steal your roadkill. Now that is an honest man, folks.

        • Finn Mahone says:

          I shot a deer during archery season once that ran towards a well traveled road. When I got there I saw my deer being driven off in the back of a pick up truck because it dropped dead on the side of the road. Guess they needed the meat more than I did.

    • Good one.

      • mom of three says:

        YUCK! :)

        • Oh, come now, Mo3… there’s nothin’ wrong with a fresh roadkill- you know it’s fresh ‘cuz you beat the flies to it- it’s just gettin’ over the idea that you didn’t buy it at the grocer’s… ;)

    • Redwood Mama says:

      My son found some road kill the other night and brought it home, a couple cases from Costco laying in the middle of the road… not anywhere close to the local store either…oh, weel tastes good!

      • mom of three says:

        Years ago my brother in law, brought home a rabbit he hit and skinned it and cooked it up. It was just to darn cute to eat, my 2 year nephew ate it along with his dad. If I had to I would, but not if it tits up ;)

  14. Donna in MN says:

    YKYAP if you eat dry dog food kibble in secret.

    YKYAP if you try to find TP substitutes and somehow end up with a mysterious itchy rash.

    YKYAP if you fry up tree lining and serve it for guests.

    YKYAP if you make a big meal for 12 family members made up of wild food and they think it is a domestic chicken dinner when it is muskrat, duck potatoes, weed salad and wild red cherry cobbler made with wild rice flour and duck eggs.

    YKYAP if your family, neighbors, and coworkers think you are wierd and avoid you like the plague until shtf and they will think you are wonderful, smart and resourceful.

  15. (I’m seriously trying to not spew my lunch all over my computer screen, but here goes.)

    YKYAP when…

    you spend Christmas Eve at the court house applying for your concealed carry permit.

    you get excited when you find .22LR on the shelf.

    you try to find appliances that don’t use electricity.

    • seeuncourt says:

      YKYAP when you shop for 12v appliances at the truck stop because they “go with” your solar system….

      • Oh please says:

        Guilty as charged. I tried to find appliances that could run on solar and ended up shopping trucker websites.

        YKYAP when:
        you have thought about turning a bicycle into a generator to run your TV and kitchen appliances.

        you get excited about a hardware store going out of business so you can get hand tools at a discount

        you buy duct tape every time you go to the hardware store even though you’re not out.

        you have enough candles and oil lamps to light every inch of your home.

        you buy solar garden lights as a battery charging option and additional light source for your home when there is no power.

        you look at a neighbor’s bamboo problem as a ready supply of building materials.

  16. You know you’re a prepper when you have half a million heirloom seeds because you know they’ll be currency same with five gallon buckets full of alcohol nips!

  17. You know you’re a prepper when the thought of wearing bright clothing makes you break out in hives.

  18. ykyap if you have a belt-fed firearm, and still wonder if you have enough firepower…….or if you have have more body armor than business suits.

  19. mom of three says:

    When you are watching all the people, scurry around the stores with carts , full to the brim because we got 7 inches of snow. Thanks for the laugh, were suppose to get 3 more by the end of the day.

    • I do it right beside them – everything goes into my preps. It’s a good way to avoid drawing attention to your purchases. I live in a small town and a couple of times have drawn comments with my shopping cart.

      • I was once in Sam’s club that had just opened in the area, with a cart with about 4 cases of TP and some old woman came up and asked what I was going to do with all that TP. I know. I should have, but I didn’t.

  20. Urbancitygirl says:

    You know you are a prepper when you are anxious that the new rain gutter system isn’t getting installed until spring.

    You know you are a prepper when 6 months of food storage is not enough.

    You know you are a prepper when you see bumper stickers on cars touting they are Obama supporters and it’s all you can do not to RAM them.

    You know you are a prepper when you cringe at the thought of throwing out a bottle, a container, pill bottle, newspaper…cause of their many new roles.

    You know you are a prepper when you are driving around you take notice of who else has (not) got a garden!

  21. Urbancitygirl says:

    And…. You know you are a prepper when you read someone else’s comments on “What Did You Do To Prep” and think, CRAP! That’s an awesome idea! Now, how quickly can I (adjust, create, purchase, learn how, adapt, or get my DH or DW ) to do that same thing.

  22. Suburban Housewife says:

    Some of these are hilarious! I guess I can call myself a prepper now – as I am “guilty” of too many of these! LOL!

  23. grandma Rosie says:

    This was so funny and so true! Thank you everyone!! Glad I wasn’t eating or drinking because I had to laugh out loud on most of them!!
    Saw on news where Chuck Hagel wants to take the army back to pre WW2 times (1940) Putting that many more out of work will put that many more joining the people that are planning on marching on DC on May 16th. Don’t want them out of a job but rather have them on our side that be trained to shoot us!
    With all the crop failures around the world and promises of HIGHER prices keep prepping everyone! Gonna need it

  24. You know you are a prepper if having only one 55 gallon barrel of water makes you break into a sweat.

    You know you are a prepper if you can’t fit any more #10 cans of food under your bed.

    You know you are a prepper if you have used Google Earth to find all the swimming pools in the neighborhood, and printed out the results.

    • lol penrod, yours fit me to a T.

      • Oh please says:

        You know you are a prepper if you’ve got a plan for turning your own pool into a cistern, including cover, collection and purification ideas.

  25. YKOAPW…some of the people on your pray list are named MD, BamBam, River Rider, Rider of Rohan, Donna from MN, Michelle, Tactical Grand Ma, Hunker Down, Penrod, JP in MT, JayJay, Braveheart, Norse Prepper, and soooo many others.

  26. Rider of Rohan says:

    You know you are a prepper when your fish tank is for aquaponics, not ambiance.

    You know you are a prepper when you are constantly downloading virtual coupons off the internet.

    You know you are a prepper when you look at every product on the shelf to see which ones have the date that is the longest away, and those are the ones you buy.

    • “You know you are a prepper when you look at every product on the shelf to see which ones have the date that is the longest away, and those are the ones you buy.”

      I have my kids doing this!

  27. YKYAP if your kids think that a years supply of food is normal for hurricane or tornado.
    YKYAP if your kids think that a hurricane is possible at 300 miles from the coast.

  28. Thank you theses are Great! Have some new ideas too

  29. You fall asleep at night praying that The Good Lord lets you find more .357 ammo for your DW’s carbine.

  30. YKYAP when you save all the paper packing from the ordered supplies for fire starter.

    • That–among so many of these-is SO me.
      YKYAAP when you have a bugout bag for yourself- and another for your dog.

  31. you buy a Holt nut roller made for picking up empty brass

    you regret throwing away an empty can because your sure your gonna need it one day

    you’ve worn out a pressure canner, 2 dehydrators and a foodsaver

    Zaycon Foods names you customer of the year

    you can find your way home on foot from work in the dark, rain or snow but lose your car in the mall parking lot

    you’ve bought so much vodka the ATF, AA and MADD stop by to do an intervention

    you’ve stockpiled so much ammo the gun shops come to you

    you have so many canning jars Ball gave you stock options

    you’ve buried so many cache’s in your backyard that satellites waver from the gravity anomaly

    you try to sweeten the deal on your new bugout vehicle by offering the salesman a brick of .22 if he’ll come down to your offer

    you’ve “lost guns in boating accidents” so many times that there’s always at least ten boats following you every time you go fishing

    you hope the power goes out so you can attempt beat your old record for getting the generator running

    you run around closing doors if someone stops by unexpectedly so they can’t see all your preps

    a three day weekend means you get to run a pandemic emergency drill with your family. In tyvek suits and respirators!

    you know the name of every vet supply med suitable for human use but still can’t pronounce the prescription drug your doctor gave you

    you spend $300.00 to get the weight of your bug out bag down by 3 ounces

    you see a BOGO sale and you have to

    you know what a BOGO sale is and understand why you have to

    you realize how important canned bacon is

    you not only carry 3 ways of making fire but also three ways of making coffee (ok, or tea if you have to be a wuss about it)

    you don’t understand why Gibbs Rule # 9 (always carry a knife) isn’t Rule #1 (gratuitous NCIS reference)

    survived learning to shave with a straight razor and have no new visible scars

    know how to properly sharpen and strop a straight razor

    know what sugar nippers are and why you need them

    you have the tools and knowledge to clean your own chimney and/or stovepipe. And don’t forget the top hat, it’s a necessary part of the process.

    you can use a blanket pin to turn a blanket into a coat without stabbing yourself.

    your monthly expenditure for making herbal tinctures, tonics, and medicine exceeds your car payment

    you cut the cable off so you can spend more time reading The Survivalist Blog (ok, ok, if I’m down to brown nosing it’s time to quit.)

    Well, just one encore then

    you know you’re a noob prepper when you give yourself a hernia trying to lift your bugout bag

    • Rider of Rohan says:

      Hahaha….tommy, you da man! I laughed out loud.

      And lastly for me, you know you’re a prepper when your computer screen is stained with tea, coffee or whatever beverage you happen to be consuming while reading MD’s blog. Cause preppers are hilarious.

    • “survived learning to shave with a straight razor and have no new visible scars”

      Oh, tommy2rs, that is SO not funny! I carried one in a handy place all thru the Middle East and Central Asia in the ’70s, and used to shave with, as well. They are not at all fun.

      • I remember watching a lady chase a man down the street in Dallas back in the 70’s. She was whacking him with a paper sack and every time she hit him blood would fly. Turned out she had a straight razor inside the bag.

        • Oh and I’ve refurbished two antique straight razors and have finally learned to shave with them without needing a transfusion, gotta love that block of alum…lol. Still got the one I used to carry in my boot as well.

    • Donna in MN says:

      LOL, It’s a good thing I was alone reading your post b/c it made me laugh so hard I had to fart.

    • Encourager says:

      tommy2rs Wins!! He wins!!!! LOL! Great post TRR!

      You ARE da man!

  32. YKYAP when u get your family a Food Saver for Christmas.

    YKYAP when u hide certain things from ur spouse when bringing home radical preps, b/c u know s/he already suspects u’re going crazy…

    • #2,,,,I’m guilty, even having him on board sometimes I get “that look” and Iknow he thinks I’ve gone over the edge.

      • Shades of Green says:

        Mine would never let me see him give me “that look” much less say anything for fear I might push him over that very edge. I never would but I will never let him sit that comfortable, got to keep him on his toes.

  33. What does “pantry porn” mean? That’s a new one for me.

    • HEY IT'S DAVE says:

      Google it; you’ll be surprised.

      • Oh wow! Dave, I took ur advice, & now, lol, my eyes have been opened! But still think those are all posed pics right after cleaning. & the only people who have time for cleaning the pantry are into pantry porn!

    • Red C.,

      It’s like having all your canning jars with nice labels, all facing straight and all set up in rows.

      • …and you post pics so everyone else can drool

        • Oh, I guess the skeptic in me figured those pics were posed just for show & tell, right after the twice-annual clean the pantry day… But u never can tell what’s really behind one’s curtain…

  34. Nebraska Woman says:

    You know you’re a prepper
    when you forgo wearing nylons and recycle all of them into tomato stakes.
    when you replace your carpet with cleanable wood etc. in case you need to bring critters in for the cold
    when you walk around a notions store thinking “What will I need after tshtf?” and you wind up with enough pins, thread, shears, needles, yarn, sock knitting needles, and material to fill your U-haul that you rented just for that purpose
    you hang 2 cans and a string between your neighbors’ home and yours so you can communicate w/o leaving your home (submitted by my 14 year old riding partner)
    your friends all go on a cruise while you fill a massive order from ee
    your library consists of how-to books
    you are mum when people ask how you can have enough furniture for a 5 bedroom house

  35. YKYAP when you have trained everyone that every item that comes out of the pantry is written down and the date opened is put on it so it’s usage can be tracked, to the point that the DH asks if he should write down the plastic bags from the grocery store, and is serious.

    YKYAP when you can look at any product and know you have multiple uses for it or have read about multiple uses for it.

    YKYAP when you weigh the cost of going out to eat against what’s on your “need / want” list that you could buy with that same money and the list wins everytime.

    YKYAP when you have dozens of empty coffee cans stuffed full of dryer lint.

    YKYAP when you purchase a can opener that makes the top of the can edge smooth so you can then use the empty can to make candles or cooking tins.

    YKYAP when you have insulating curtains over all your windows and the edges are taped to the wall for OPSEC light security as practice runs, and it’s been there so long you don’t notice the tape any more.

    YKYAP when during mealtimes you and your family play “what would you do if…..”

    YKYAP when you have drills consisting of “do you know where ____ is stored and how long does it take to find it”.

    YKYAP when the reading material in the middle of the table is print outs from this website, and is required reading!

    YKYAP when you save scraps of fat from meat in your freezer to render at a later time.

    YKYAP when the first place you go to in the store is the canning jar isle.

    YKYAP when you find an unexpected sale on food and can do an immediate mental inventory to know if you have enough at home (never!) and if it’s a really good price.

    YKYAP when your fridge dies and instead of dumping it you look at it as possible emp protection or for digging a hole and putting it in the ground for a future outdoor emergency fridge.

    • Love the last one! We have an extra fridge (it was here when we moved and we had one) that we can’t give away cause it’s a hair smaller than today’s monsters. You just convinced me to keep it.

  36. You know what OPSEC, Fishmox, and EMP means.

    You have “Buy it cheap, stack it high, stack it deep” tattooed on your butt!

  37. Like someone posted as a comment on my WDYDTPTW post:

    You know you’re a prepper when you ask for and receive a tiller and Lowe’s gift cards as wedding gifts!

  38. YKYAP when you are out and about and are constantly assessing other people’s clothing and footwear as to them being able to walk any distance and get home.

  39. You know your a prepper when you have a large metal trash can full of pre-1982 pennies because you think that it may work as a Faraday cage without any scientific logic to back it up.

    You know your a prepper when your first trip to Rural King is the highlight of your year. (shortly followed by a nice breakfast at Waffle House of course)

  40. I knew there was no going back to the regular world when I took up lying to everyone about how I was spending my time, why I bought large bags of beans and rice, and have learned many new skills, including how to use several weapons (throwing knives, crossbows). My DH, now, knows I think 2-way radios and new guns are very romantic.
    My world is filled with people that keep their heads in the clouds and depend on the government to come save them when things get bad. They just think I am crazy…..if they don’t know I prep, I won’t have them knocking on my door expecting me to take care of them. So being the crazy lady is a perfect cover.

  41. YKYAP when you pop into a Farm Supply store you don’t drive by very often, buy a 50 pound bag of wheat for grinding your own flour/LT storage for only $18, only to get home and see “DANGER – Treated” on the back of the bag, and realize you just bought wheat seed for planting, not eating! Just took it back this morning – 20 miles one way!

  42. You know you are a prepperholic when your kid pours cereal out of the box, but out falls a LifeStraw.

  43. Chuck Findlay says:

    You know you are a prepper when you have to run to the store to buy TP to go to the bathroom when you have 400 rolls in the basement.

  44. YKYAPW your child comes home from a sleep over and says he won’t stay there again because they don’t have a pantry.

  45. You pressure can left overs.

    You think that talk about buried cargo containers, tunnels and solar well pumps is romantic.

    You spend your whole weekend chatting with ‘family’ you have never, nor likely will ever meet.

    also when you’d have to plead guilty to 3/4’s of this list.

  46. YKYAPW your kids (or grandkids) come home with empty Altoids tins for your next craft day.

    YKYAPW your kids ask to download a book of survival skills instead of MP3s.

    YKYAPW your craft day is making fire starters with dryer lint, TP tubes, and old candles.

    YKYAPW you’re family starts talking about what livestock would fit in your back yard. (This happened during supper tonight.)

    YKYAPW you no exactly which way you’ll go to get to your kids school if an earthquake takes out the overpasses and bridges on your normal route. And how long it will take you to get there.

    YKYAPW you know every overpass pond on your way to and from work and whether or not there are fish in it.

    YKYAPW you try to dehydrate anything and everything at least once, to try to save space. Or you used your food saver to pack a change of clothes.

    YKYAPW you put your bed on stilts so you can get more under it.

  47. …when you have elaborate plans that consist of half of your garden being a traditional garden and the other half is planned chaos to look like overgrown brambles and weeds…

    …when you deliberately buy long thorn-ed roses and blackberries to keep people off your property…

    You know you’re raising a prepper when…

    …your daughter “stands guard” with her Nerf shotgun while playing with her cousins, just in case they come and want our stuff

    …she insists her baby doll needs extra things put away too, just in case (she really kills me with that one – and she seriously means put up in the back pantry, not just extra things for her to have right now)

    • Teresa Farrow says:

      Love your daughter!!! She and my nine year old would have quite a great time with imagination play.

  48. Rob in Ontario says:

    YKYAP when you hate travelling any distance from home , and wonder how long it would take to walk back

    • or pack different GHBs depending on the walk home.

    • Rider of Rohan says:

      Rob, you touched a nerve there. My nephew, who lives in California(I live in NE Texas) wants my family to visit. I just can’t make myself agree to it. There’s no way I could get back home from there. And besides, I don’t visit any state that doesn’t honor my concealed carry license.

      • Amen to that. It is to where if you want to see the ocean, you have to visit Florida. I don’t go anywhere I cant carry.

      • Oh please says:

        You know you are a prepper if you have looked at gun permit reciprocity laws between your home and your travel destination: especially if you have changed your route to accommodate these laws.

    • Rob in Ontario says:

      I have a friend that lives in London, Ontario only 3 hours away wants me to visit ,but other side of Toronto and many other major cities , I figure there’s about 6-7 million people between me and home and with the lakes up here the way they are can’t really get around them,

    • Southern Patriot says:

      I think about this one all the time! No room for luggage with the expanded GHBs I’m sure I’ll need.

  49. Jersey Drifter says:

    YKYAPW you work retail, and when you setup your cash drawer instead of trashing the empty coin tubes, you stick them in your pocket.
    When you unpack merchandise, you save the bubble wrap bags,
    and you save the little silica gel packs.
    When a co-worker asks what you are going to do with them, you respond ” I don’t know, I might find a use for them.”

  50. Curley Bull says:

    OK fellas, this has stopped being funny!! Ya’ll are getting down right personal now. I’m taking my MREs and going home (to bed).

  51. Beans-N-Bullets says:

    1) when you have a computer program to calculate your food storage
    2) when you get a divorce because your other half isn’t on board
    3) when you calculate how many #10 cans will fit under a queen size mattress if you raise it 2/3/4 feet off the ground and what size step stool will work to get up on the bed after you raised it.
    4) when you size up you neighbors dogs as food
    5) when you look at P.V.C as a way to bury you excess ammo/guns/food
    6) you think of gun shows as a good place to pick up a date.
    7) your ideal husband/wife knows how to skin a rabbit and then cook it with out modern appliances : )
    8) you are never satisfied with anything that comes out of a politicians mouth or the amount of ammo that you have after hearing one of there speech’s.

  52. Babycatcher says:

    yKYAPW your daughter asks why you still have their homeschool books- the last homeschooled child is now 24! And the one who asked is 36!

    • Sure ‘nough–find myself correcting spelling and grammar as I read these great comments and ideas. Have to be prepared to school.

  53. Babycatcher says:

    …when your hubby buys you a beautiful, excellent condition wood stove insert for your anniversary, birthday, whatever, and has never used one, but knows you do. Oh, and he found it on Craigslist and paid to have it professionally installed, so it would be safe. I’m telling you guys, my man LOVES me!

  54. Babycatcher says:

    BnB, we have actually considered #3! Haven’t done it yet though…

  55. YKYAPW you overhear your son quote Sun Tzu to his online game squad mates.

    • Ykyapw….the plumber says, “Sorry, you can’t use the bathrooms for a couple days.” You think…I have a couple port a potties, an outdoor shower, hot tub, stock tank, lots of dish pans…I’m good. No worries.
      That was actually my weekend.

  56. LazarusLong says:

    YKYAPW you’ve run out of hidden storage space so you cut out panels of sheetrock behind furniture all over your house and start stacking inside your walls using 2×4 crossbeams between the studs for shelving

  57. Jersey Drifter says:

    YKYAPW you put your cell phone in the microwave to see if it would be a good faraday cage. I tried calling mine…..but it just went snap, crackle, and pop, started to spark and smoke, and came out a little melted. Oh dang.

  58. Ykyapw,
    You plan a trip with a friend and she says, “We can take my car if you think your gear will fit in it”.

    You cut your old tshirts in to rags in case you have to resort to “family cloth”, unless you need a rug, then you tear them in strips and crochet a rug.

    You have so much extra bedding that space bags are a regular item on your shopping list.

  59. You spent the evening looking at replacement parts for the Alladin lamp because DH finally got on board, and wants to make sure it’s ready for “when the time comes.”

  60. when you see random things as prepper items like the Gatorade bottle you just finished

    • That is so funny, I used to save Gatorade bottles for plinking targets, but I am thinking they are too”valuable” to waste that way.

  61. Thank you Bam Bam, it was a great idea to do this when you first came up with. I’m so glad you ran with the idea, haven’t laughed and smiled so much in a long time. Thanks to everyone for their comments :) :) :)

  62. YKYAP when you buy your DW a beautiful, Lavender Lady, 38 for her birthday, along with a gift card to the local range for “lady shooting instruction”, then buy your 14 year old daughter a beautiful Pink Lady 38, and the gift card, and your 11 year old daughter a beautiful Green Lady 38, sorry, no gift card, too young.

  63. YKYAP if you offer the traffic cop a brick of 22 not to write you a ticket, you know he’s one if he accepts

  64. SnakePliskin says:

    Oh man, thank you all for the humor! Tough day for me and this post and comments have made me laugh my head off. You all are the funniest and best. After all, if we can’t laugh at ourselves…………

    Thanks again. Wish i was as funny and wicked smart as you good people.

    Best,

    SnakePliskin

  65. Christian Soldier says:

    YMBAP if you carry more bug out equipment in your golf bag than you do golf equipment.

  66. YKYAP when people asks what’s in your car top carrier and you laugh and tell them that is where you keep the bodies until you can dispose of them. Funny thing, after that they never ask what’s really in it.

  67. YKYAP when your ammo cans take up more room in your bedroom closet than your shoe collection.

  68. YKYAseriousP when the local amish think you have gone too far in self-sufficiency….twice!
    And when you are chosen to become a military survival training instructor and you don’t know why…until you realize the training sounds like a “lite” version of very vacation you have had with your grandparents since you were born.

  69. When your good neighbor saves their 1 gallon pickle jars for you so you can dry can your rice and dry beans. Realizing that someone getting their pickles in 1 gallon jars is also a prepper, just not up to speed on the dry canning.

  70. You know you’re a prepper when you move your dress clothes into storage to make room for your cammo clothes.

  71. You know your a prepper when Lowe’s has a reserved parking spot for you.

    You know your a prepper when your kids know more about operating fire equipment than their teachers.

    You know your a prepper when your kids will tell strangers everything about your family but clam up about the pantry and garage.

    • Teresa Farrow says:

      Oh my gosh!!! I just had this conversation with my nine year old in Costco. He asked why we were buying a large tarp…he thought better of it and hushed.

  72. Gotta say, you all have made me feel great about all my little “weirdnesses” that draw comments and raised eyebrows from family and friends. YKYAP when you remind people that your parents grew up during the Great Depression, and so it is just natural for you to be a collector of random stuff . . .

  73. Debra DeKerlegand says:

    YKYAPW your drive home from work consists of stopping at the bakery to pick up empty plastic food storage containers, a stop at Starbucks to pick up the used coffee grounds for the garden, and you can never look at a trash can at Lowes without thinking “can I hook one more up to the rain barrel system?”

    Glad to say I’m in such good company!

  74. I know I’m prepared when I got my bug out bug under my bed ready on the go and modern survival blog is always on my list for updates.

  75. YKYAPW you consider stopping in the middle of the interstate to grab a stack of 5 gallon buckets in the median.

  76. Teresa Farrow says:

    Oh my gosh…I must have forgotten what it is to really laugh out loud. I have not laughed so hard in years. And while I still do not have my land, I can identify with everything on the list. My last vacation was driving to Adair County, Kentucky to look at Amish farms for sale.

  77. Teresa Farrow says:

    YKYARAP when your nine year old asks if we have $4,000 to buy the generator he has spotted at Costco’s.

  78. New Hampshah says:

    When every family get together or holiday turns into a gunshow and you can’t serve dinner until they get their ammo off the table.